No New Friends

No New Friends?

Good Behavior

We all love Hip Hop mantra’s like Yolo and No New Friends. But who can really live their lives like rap stars?…not even rap stars with their rented lives and influx of New Friends. I am not speaking about hanger-oners, leaches or groupies. I am talking about folks who are real live friends. Just like when you were five years old, you can make new friends…but should you?

Amazing #XiChi photo… #2016

A photo posted by Sharelle D. Lowery (@classysharelle) on

I was invited to a Sorority Luncheon and my Prophyte told me to “make friends” with this girl who was kinda new in the Bay Area. She had told old girl that I liked to be out and about and party. *side-eye* But she is my Prophyte and guess what, Sorority Muva Knows Best. I have had SO much fun with her, she is hilarious, a ride or die, she has her own life and understands my level of ratchet while still being Bougie. The best thing about my new friend, she doesn’t come with any of the baggage that I have with my other friends over the years.

I mean…. A #selfie

A photo posted by Sharelle D. Lowery (@classysharelle) on

No New Friends is Provincial Thinking

The idea that you would not increase your circle of personal influencers from the people that you met in high school or college is quite provincial. I have personally met some amazing people every year of my life and even more so after college. You cannot grow if you do not try new things or meet new people. And exactly what is the cutoff for new friends? 25, 30 years old?

Related >>> 4 Types of Friends Who Need The Boot!

Me and my bloggeristas at the SF Auto Show! #drivesti #drivemazda @mazdausa

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Old Friends Can Have Old Thinking

Like an amazing romantic relationship, your friends can sometimes see you in the same way that they saw you when you were the age that you met them. They don’t respect the new and changing you. These people usually start sentences with, “Remember when (enter horrible moment here).”

And then I see my Fave Fashion Designer Kimberly Antoinette!!! @macys #Fashion #ClassyBlackGirls

A photo posted by Sharelle D. Lowery (@classysharelle) on

When You Change, People Around You Change

We have all heard that you are the sum of the 5 people that you spend the most amount of time with. Growth requires change and if you have a power career or work in sales, making new “friends” is called expanding your client base.

Out of the 12 photos that we took…me and @iambrandybutler agreed on this photo! #bwbatx #dst #aka

A photo posted by Sharelle D. Lowery (@classysharelle) on

In Defense of No New Friends

I have actually experienced people asking for my contacts without returning any reciprocal value. I have “friends” who only seem to be around during the come up, but disappear during dark times. I do understand the feeling of being used and how it can seem that New Friends are the ones who participate in leachism, but New Friends are not the only ones who do this. Sometimes Old Friends do it and feel entitled to take advantage of your new status, money and influence just because they have been around forever. Family is good for this too.

By no means am I saying to ever replace those friends who have been there for you, but not allowing new people to come into your life, be your friend and open you up to the possibility of new fun and new experiences is self-limiting. There is no way that Drake is as succesful as he is hanging with the same friends that he made in Toronto. By the way, Steph Curry…was he a friend from Canada? Oh and I guess Serena and Drake went to high school together, right?

I am all about making Good Quality Friends. What about you?

Sharelle D. Lowery

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